What I fear the most

What is it that you fear the most? Heights? Spiders? Being rejected? I fear looking stupid in front of other people. Yeah, I’m hesitant of heights, can’t touch any animal with 6 legs or more (or no legs for that matter), but the one that really keeps me in my shell is embarrassment.

This is usually encompassed in activities such as dancing, being silly, or attracting attention in public. I don’t know what it is, but there is just a mental block when it comes to doing something in public.

I’ll go crazy and use dancing as an example.

Dancing is ok if I’m performing the minimal side-to-side stepping, but anything more and I risk looking like an idiot. My two-footed failed jive will be the laughing stock of the dance floor. The legend of my drunken-like stumble will grow. I’ll be laughed at for years to come.

I know it is stupid to think this, I guess that is why it’s called an irrational fear, right?

Just saying that out loud sounds stupid. In other areas of my life I push to challenge myself – I take opportunities at the office, I randomly navigate new ways to a destination using my gut for direction, I show my true self through this blog for all the Internet to see.

Yet, I still can’t bust a simple move on the dance floor, or risk being generally silly in public. I must look composed and professional at all times.

I don’t think it’s a neurotic fear, one that will make me freeze up or pass out. I believe it’s just one of those things that I have just never been comfortable with, and over time it has developed into a fear.

There are those unfortunate people that have real, life threatening fears. The type that cause heart failure or worse. The fears in those people seem to be more deeply rooted in their souls. You can feel the fear emanating from them when they are faced with it.

It can be scary watching people when they are faced with their true worst fears. It is so unpredictable as to what they will do or how they will react. Are they going to freak out and run? Are they simply going to faint? Or will they confront it?

Human nature is unpredictable at best.

I really should confront my ‘fears’ before they really do grow into these gripping fears that will freeze me up, and not be able to react when the time is required. I wouldn’t want to be caught in a life or death situation and freeze up due to a stupid fear I have.

I’m lazy, though, and will probably not tackle these fears until absolutely required. That will be to my own detriment, I understand that.

But what is a guy to do?

3 Comments

Manuela Tutt January 3, 2017 Reply

I agree, I have the same fear of being incompetent or looking stupid or even failure in what I attempt…. I have just faced the failure bit and am actively growing my business again! I retracted into a shell when I lost the big contract… you know the saying “if we don’t see it we wont think of it”… well 2017 is going to be different… here’s to strength to accomplish it!!! Terence… go dancing and don’t care what others think…. they wont even notice … try it…… xxxx

Terence Brown January 4, 2017 Reply

Thank you for the kind words. I have 2 words for 2017 – Bring it.

Lori Gosselin January 17, 2017 Reply

Hi Terence,
Nice to meet you! I think fear is a universal nemesis! I’ve approached it in different ways in the past but recently, my need to address it took centre state (better it than me 😉 I wrote a post about how I dealt with it. http://lifeforinstance.com/how-to-banish-your-fear/ Strangely, when I remember to use it, this technique works.
Will it get you up on the dance floor? Not sure. But give it a whirl!
Lori
P.S. And yes, 2017, bring it!

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